I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize