I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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