Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
