i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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