I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
