he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
