You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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