I think I can smell my own vagina right now
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize