Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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