just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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