Cold hands, warm shart.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
