toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
