i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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