Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
