Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
