I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
