That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
