i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
