Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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