Rock
Scissors
Fuck
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
