and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
