Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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