YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Randomize
