Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
What a dumb baby whore.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
