I'm really into asian looking animals
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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