Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
