i just google imaged poop.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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