Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Randomize