don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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