So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
