are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
