my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
