is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
false alarm. still invincible.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
