That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize