She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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