You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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