1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
