he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize