Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
