The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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