glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
