Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My vagina is very pro this idea
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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