Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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