I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
