i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
