Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
