i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
