I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
