I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
