Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize