So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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