Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
