Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize