i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
