They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Your cock deserves a montage
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
