well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
it was like eating out sand paper
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
