All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
