pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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