I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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