i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
