dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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