she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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