Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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