Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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