I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
there was a trapeze. enough said
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
