but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
