toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
