doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
