Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My dick has a subreddit
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
