Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
