this just has baby written all over it
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
