Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
