Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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