I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize