I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
