Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
